Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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