You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
