I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
BRING THE BAGELS
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
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