I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
