friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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