i permit you to call me
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
