someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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