I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
