yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize