went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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