you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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