ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Can I color on your dick again?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
