He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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