he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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