so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
