She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
