Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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