the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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