I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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