at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
