glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We need a shit load of segways right now
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
