how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
