This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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