I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
