She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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