So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
