Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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