He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
