Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Green mimosas i think yes
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
