I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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