If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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