apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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