ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
