Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
