I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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