Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize