is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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