you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
