Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Randomize
