so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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