he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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