Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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