You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
