where does the pee come out of this thing
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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