yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
