it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
