its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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