i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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