I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
His nipple licking is glorious
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