I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
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