So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
