I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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