I think I am morally bankrupt
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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