i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
