Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
