Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We don't watch enough power rangers
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
