would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
