Me too!
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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