I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
