you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I just had sex on a roof
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Randomize
