Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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