If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
