But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
