how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
