i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
