New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
nutella sex= disaster
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
