My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
