the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize